6am - I’m in the NICU with my baby boy, trying to coax another feeding out of him. Sometimes he latches, sometimes he doesn’t. I can’t force the breast, because I know that if he doesn’t gain weight and keep his glucose levels up he’ll stay in the NICU even longer. I get an update on the overall status of his night from the nurse before getting kicked out for shift change.
1:30pm - The hospital room is chaos as I manage my older girls, who are getting bored, coach the Husband on everything that needs to be done before the 6 year old goes back for the first day of school tomorrow, and help figure out what everyone else will be eating for dinner tonight.
6am - Back in the NICU for another day of nursing, pumping, poking, prodding, and trying to just keep it all together.
Tomorrow I will officially leave my baby boy at the hospital. I know that it could be so much worse, but my heart aches to know that we are in the same position we were in with T's birthday 6 years ago.